Yep it's August 11. I still get a strange feeling of loss on this day, even 53 years later, of the day my grandmother died suddenly. I was not quite 4 when she died. Last night I was in the hot tub staring at the sky, waiting for some of the meteor shower to spill over the sky, feeling somewhat out of sorts; and then the lines of Wayfarin' Stranger came to my head "I'm going there, to see my mother. She told she'd meet me when I come" and I thought of Nonnie immediately (my grandmother). I got a flash of myself at 4, cutting off all the hair of my doll Mary because I was mad that my Nonnie had left without saying goodbye (I think she gave me the doll...?) I tried my best to remember the day itself but all I got was a vague confused feeling, I suppose reflecting the way I felt that day over leaving Nova Scotia so suddenly and why was my mom upset? I could still feel somewhere inside of me how much I still miss her and how much I loved her and how loved I felt by her. I thought about how awful it must've been for my mother to lose her mom when she was just 27. I know some of the times I've needed my mother the most came after my 27th birthday and how I just took for granted that she'd be there for me. And then I felt so grateful for all the years I have with her, and how really grateful I am for being here for both my daughters, and pray that I'll be here for much longer for both of them.
Today I feel happy realizing that my son-in-law Jonathan's birthday is also today, much the same way I feel about my sister's twins being born on my Dad's birthday. Jonathan really has brought so much happiness to our family, not just Phoebe. These birthday coincidences remind me of the circle of life, and to keep smiling, to feel grateful and cherish every moment we are all together.
....beauty will save the world